It’s me or the dog.

Last October (I think) my girlfriend and I went to the Cuyahoga Valley to take the next big step in a serious relationship: adopting a dog. I have to admit that I wasn’t convinced that it would be such a good idea. As the dog paces back and forth across the room this evening as I type away, I am still not convinced. In any case, we left the Humane Society that day with a cross between a house pet and a finely-tuned mercenary. I suppose the ‘test drive’ sort of thing that the lady from the Humane Society suggested we take the dog on before adopting it should have clued me in.

We had only had her for about a month when she nearly killed my cousin’s Pomeranian or Shit-zu or whatever the hell that thing is. She doesn’t like small dogs (or neighbors, friends, family, etc.).

 Aries, as this dog is called, is a German Shepherd/Belgian Malinois mix. She currently weighs about 70 pounds, and as she has gotten older she has (fortunately) calmed down quite a bit. I never had a dog as I was growing up, so I wasn’t sure what I was getting into, but I have come to realize that this thing consumes more of my time and attention than nearly anything else currently in my life. As much as it pains me to admit it, I have become very, very fond of “Aries”.

While talking with my girlfriend this evening, I realized that she actually has alot to learn from Aries, and I have decided to present a brief list:

1) Playing catch is in fact very fun, as is wrestling, running, hiking, fishing, etc…

2) If I accidently kick, punch, or scratch your face, the best way to handle it is to take a deep breath and continue wrestling.

3) Guests really are impressed if I say to sit, speak, or stay and you actually do.

4) Shopping is only fun for a while (as in like five minutes).

5) Small dogs (Cocker Spaniels, Cavalier King Charles Spaniels, etc.) suck, as do little kids.

6) I never, ever want to go shopping. To this day, Aries has yet to ask (or demand) that I do this.

 Perhaps someday with a little luck scientists will fuse a dog’s brain/mind with a woman’s body and men across the planet will be delighted. Young entrepreneurs should take note… as they say, build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door.


2 Responses to It’s me or the dog.

  1. reavolution says:

    Whatever. Aries is a girl. She, too, would love to shop if she were human. She already “talks” as much as I do.

  2. whenispark says:

    oh man, number 3 is amazing…please get rachel to obey that one.

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