Is this a joke?

February 1, 2008

Yesterday, the Ohio Supreme Court ruled that the city of Akron’s law regarding the ‘cop-in-a-box’ speeding cameras is not unconstitutional. Basically, the law says that if one of these cameras catches you speeding, you are definitely, absolutely going to get a ticket. Anyone ever heard of ‘due-process’?

It gets better:

It doesn’t matter if you were driving… just that it was your car (parents, don’t let your kids drive your car).

Here is a quote from their opinion:

“While the state statute punishes the driver of the vehicle directly, the Akron ordinance imposes a fine on a vehicle’s owner, who may or may not be the driver at the time of the violation. Ultimately regardless of the actor who performs it, the actual conduct prohibited — exceeding speed limits — is the same. When a municipal ordinance does nothing more than prohibit the same conduct prohibited by state statute, there is no conflict between the two.”

You’ve got to be kidding me. If someone steals my car and goes whizzing down the road, I can get a ticket? This almost has to be a joke. What if my girlfriend (or parents) takes my car to the grocery store and speeds past one of these things?

I am dumbfounded by this one. Clearly the ordinance was enacted to make a few bucks off of people who are speeding, and the Supreme Court has no issue with it.

Unreal.

(see the full opinion here http://www.sconet.state.oh.us/Communications_Office/summaries/2008/0131/062265.asp)

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The Hidden Costs Behind Tornados

February 1, 2008

We all know that big corporations can be heartless, soulless, evil organizations, but this one is almost unbelievable… almost.

It seems that Time Warner Cable decided to bill a lady in Wisconsin $2000 for cable equipment (her cable box and accessories) damaged in a tornado that demolished (and I really mean demolished) her home a few weeks ago.

(full story here http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080201/ap_on_fe_st/odd_cable_bill_tornado;_ylt=AhYgbNQ56dJA56KnZvJcPF.s0NUE)

The lady called TWC to have the charge removed because a tornado leveled her home and she was informed by a manager that she would have to turn it in to her insurance company.

When asked what in the world they were thinking, TWC’s spokeswoman said it was a misunderstanding (I don’t know what you can misunderstand about “my house was leveled by a tornado”). Also, when asked whether anyone else had actually had to pay the charge, she replied that those in the area who didn’t mention the tornado were billed.

WOW. Can we say ‘unethical’?

Here is a company with a history of terrible customer service (almost legendary for their terrible customer service, actually) doing nothing to repair their image.

I guess we shouldn’t be surprised.


Tuesdays with Tyson – Jan. 29th, 2008

January 29, 2008

tyson2

It is time for another Tuesday with Tyson!

This week’s quote:

“I paid a worker at New York’s zoo to re-open it just for me and Robin (Mike’s wife). When we got to the gorilla cage there was 1 big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the other gorillas. They were all so powerful, but their eyes were like an innocent infant. I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let me smash that silverback’s snotbox! He declined.”

Yep, Mike is always looking out for the zoo animals that are getting bullied. What a guy!

Another quote, this time while speaking to a journalist:

“I want to throw down your kid and stomp on his testicles, and then you will know what it is like to experience waking up everyday as me. And only then will you feel my pain.”

Ouch… I’m not sure I want to feel his pain.

See you next week for more Tuesdays with Tyson!


Mars Bigfoot – Part 2

January 28, 2008

It seems there is some bad news for all of the ‘Mars Bigfoot’ fanatics out there…

NASA has released a statement saying that Mars Bigfoot is only two inches tall. Worse yet, it turns out that Mars Bigfoot is a rock. Who would have guessed that?

In any case, I am going to trust NASA and accept that Mars Bigfoot is only two inches tall. I am, however, going to provide an alternative to the ‘it is only a rock’ theory…

Perhaps Earth Bigfoot, clearly a descendant or cousin of Mars Bigfoot, is also only two inches tall. This would explain why the scientific community is having so much trouble finding him. Maybe he should be re-named ‘Little Bigfoot’ or ‘Big Littlefoot’ or something…

Just a thought.


The Real Question Surrounding Mars Bigfoot…

January 24, 2008

By now you have surely seeen the headlines about the ‘Mars Bigfoot’ image captured by the NASA Mars rover. For those of you who may be living in a cave, here are the photos:

Bigfoot Mars wide Mars Bigfoot close bigfootorange bigfoot

It seems that many people think that the image captured by NASA looks remarkably similar to the ‘Sasquatch’ captured in the famous Patterson Gimlin Film (the image on middle-right).

Upon further analysis, I am compelled to present a new, more interesting observation…

With the image reversed and some color added (far right), it appears that ‘Mars Bigfoot’ may be sporting a ‘nice rack’.

Just a thought.


Tuesdays with Tyson

January 22, 2008

Tyson

Some quick background: Throughout middle school and high school I was fascinated by boxing (more specifically, boxers). Let’s face it… combine a couple of angry, amped up muscle heads (with little to no education), a tiny ring enclosed by ropes, and give some prize money to whoever knocks the crap out of the other dude, and you have a recipe for some pretty entertaining stuff.

So from here on out, every Tuesday I will have a quick write up featuring some funny stuff from the world of boxing, often featuring Mike Tyson simply because he is a wealth of material.

Let’s start with a quote from Mr. Tyson himself:

“He called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse’. I’m not a recluse!”

Hilarious stuff.

Another one of my favorites came in an interview while Mr. Tyson was speaking about his childhood:

“One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died. I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand… he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like a infantile retard.”