Who asked you, anyway?

January 21, 2008

Yesterday, Chuck Norris (an outspoken supporter of Mike Huckabee) made the statement that the president of the United States ages at an ‘accelerated rate of 3-to-1’ every year that he or she is in office. He then questioned “If John McCain takes over the presidency at 72 and he ages 3-to-1, how old will he be in four years? Eighty-four years old — and can he handle that kind of pressure in that job?”.

My first reaction was confusion… What exactly makes Chuck Norris think that I care about his opinion regarding the presidential candidates? Sure, I like watching re-runs of ‘Walker, Texas Ranger’ as much as the next guy, but why would I be swayed by ‘Walker’s’ opinion regarding Mike Huckabee and John McCain?

I was then puzzled by the second confusing detail of this press release…

When did Chuck Norris find the time to do a scientific case study on how much the aging process accelerates (if it does at all) while a president is in office? Evidently he is not just ‘Walker’, ‘Delta Force Commander’, and six time middleweight Karate Champion, but also an expert on the human aging process.

What exactly makes all of these celebrities think that we care who they are voting for? I have a surprise for you, Oprah. I don’t care what you think of Obama, Huckabee, McCain, Clinton, or anyone else for that matter. Why do these candidates even want these kind of celebrity endorsements? Isn’t Mike Huckabee campaigning largely on his stance of social conservativism? Is he aware that his primary celebrity supporter, Chuck Norris, had a daughter out of wed lock and told reporters in 2004 that he didn’t meet her until she was 26?

This episode is one more notch in the belt of modern U.S. culture. The fact of the matter is that although anyone with half of a functioning brain wouldn’t really care who Oprah endorses, many people in the U.S. do, on some level, base their vote on who ‘Ranger Cordell Walker’ is going to vote for.

That is some scary stuff.